October 20, 2014

My brother just called.

They’re pregnant again.

My wifes’ reaction: “We can’t afford another baby.” (we might spoil our nephews, a lot!)

My reaction: “We can’t afford another baby.” 

My mom’s reaction: “Weren’t they getting him fixed?” (him as in my brother)

My dad’s reaction: “They just saved you two another two years without anybody getting on your backs about having babies. You should thank him.”

October 20, 2014

stopbreathe1 said: Where’s the photo that was supposed to be attached?

You can skype with me later this week when I’m actually in the office. Although one of my kids does have proof of this event on her flipping I-phone. If she posts it to facebook, I will let you know … oh wait, you aren’t on facebook!

October 20, 2014

priea01 said: I’m not quite sure how your wife hasn’t already killed you.

What can I say, I’m really good in bed?

October 19, 2014
Wife: what the fuck happened to your face?
Me: what?
Wife: your fucking eye is bruised and swollen and your nose is too
Me: oh yeah. I played football with the boys tonight.
Wife: and you caught the ball with your face?
Me: kinda
Wife: how do you kinda catch it with your face?
Me: well it was attached to a 200 pound 16 year old and really my face kinda caught him
Wife: what the fuck, kinda?
Me: well, kinda. I had the ball and Little S tackled me so I threw it to Big A and he kinda tripped over us and came down on my head.
Wife: Little S? She’s ten pounds soaking wet. She tackled you? Are you serious?
Me: kinda
Wife: did you at least win?
Me: kinda
Wife: you’re kinda getting on my last nerve. What happened?
Me: well nobody would play because the ball was covered in blood and since it was my blood, I’m saying we won.
Wife: blood? What the fuck?
Me: Big A’s elbow kinda have me a bloody nose too
That’s when she made some ridiculous growl and walked out of the room. I’m pretty certain she’s not coming back with an ice pack.
October 17, 2014

It makes me sad that I have to schedule time with my wife and friends as if they were business associates. And even sadder that I cancel on them more often than not.

1:03am
Filed under: over worked i miss a life 
October 15, 2014

nyladreams

Sorry hun, I was super busy all weekend and my tumblr app didn’t tell me you messaged me. I sent you an email, let me know if you got it.

October 15, 2014

priea01 replied to your post:How many kids do you have?

D’aww.

You know each and every one of those kids are my babies; my at-risk youth and the others, even the one sitting in jail for attempted murder.

October 15, 2014

Anonymous said: How many kids do you have?

63

October 15, 2014

While sorting the yard sale shit for my kids’ fundraiser, found this mug. From 1986. We’ve really come a long way. Ha!

October 13, 2014
memeterprise:

wrecked

memeterprise:

wrecked

(via seattlegrrl1)

October 10, 2014

I deactivated my twitter account. That was rather liberating.

October 10, 2014

I’ve been trying to use the mouse for my desktop to move the pointer on my laptop. It’s driving me crazy having more than one computer opened at work.

At least my tablet is far enough away that I’m not thinking I can touch my laptop screen and move things about.

October 9, 2014

(Source: teddywestside, via nyladreams)

October 9, 2014

"Pierce has gotta want something…"

(Source: leahmurphys, via nyladreams)

October 9, 2014

All the crazy, stalking  fucks are from New Zealand. Seriously. Is it something in the water over there? I hope mental health is included in their health insurance because it is obviously seriously needed.

Liked posts on Tumblr: More liked posts »